Asura Book 2 Chapter 37

 Book 2 Chapter 37: Trouble Follows Like An Ex On Steroids

“What you looking at boy?”

“Sorry, I was just thinking. If I may be so bold as to ask why do you like the butt?”

“General Headstone looks at Lintian like he was dropped as baby, “Obviously, I head first into a butt.”

Lintian looks at Headstone’s height and understood his meaning.

“You got much to learn my boy.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Relax stop being so stiff.”

“Ok mind if I ask another question?”

“What is it?”

“Were you really going to kill me if I answered wrong?”

“Obviously… Yes,” he replies with a duh kind of expression.

…. There was this awkward silence as the wind walks by.

“Sike! I was going to toss you out the window. Don’t worry about it you answered correctly.”

“…”, Lintian just feels like a fish out of water right now.

“I’m sure you gotta get going soon,” he said filling the silence as a cabinet opens and he grabs the win inside.

“Harris told me you were going to participate in the upcoming first rate school competition?” He continues while pouring himself a drink. “You want any?”

“No thank you sir and yes I am participating in the competition.”

“Mhmm, this aged win is not that bad,” Headstone said after taking a sip. “You sure you don’t want some? Mind help you grow some hair down there.”

“No, thank you,” Lintian declines respectfully.

“Suits yourself. Here catch,” he said all of a sudden and tosses an emblem to Lintian.

Lintian reacted quickly and caught it.

“That is my emblem. Show that emblem to anyone here and you can automatically come to my office. Since you pass my test Harris begged me to give you these two swords,” Headstone shrugs and brought out two finely crafted swords and tosses it to Lintian.

“This is the Mokoratori twin sword. It is a master realm sword. Should serve pretty good for this competition.”

“Thank you sir.”

“You need to get laid…”

“Shua shut come in here and help this virgin out.”

“Yes Master Headstone.”

The door creaks open and there stood the goddess.

“Young master Lintian this way please.”

Lintian’s face turns tomato red from Headstone’s comment about his virginity. As Lintian was follows her out, Lintian was thinking whether or not to say something to him. Except, by the time Lintian reaches the front entrance of the Mercenary Headquarters.

“Um, uh bye?” Lintian mumbles.

“Have a good day Young Master Lintian,” she responds.

“Okay. Hey I never got your name,” Lintian manages to shout out.

“If fates lets us meet again young Master Lintian will defiantly know,” she winks coquettishly.

“Oh, ok.”

The door closes behind her perfect figure as Lintian stood there all daze.

Stupid, stupid, stupid Lintian berates himself. Then he mutters to himself, “hey I never got your name? What kind of pick up line is that?”

“Boss in looooovvvvve,” Kyuri teases mentally.

“Did I hear someone say he doesn’t want food tonight?” Lintian thought loudly enough for Kyuri too hear.

“Boss is number one, he is a king of harems. He is short but got a long d*ck!” Kyuri mentally praises after hearing no food. “Boss with your good looks if you go up to her and say I might be short but I got a long d*ck I’m sure she will fall head over heels for you.”

Hearing all this Lintian didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

“Boss, I just thought of another pick up line you can use. My d*ck might be small but I got the motion of an ocean. Oh wait here’s an even better one. You can say if I was a squirrel would you help me bust a nut? Wait this one might be even better. Go up to her and be like God gave you everything but my number.”

Lintian was flabbergasted by all this. Where the seven hells did he get all this? “Where did you learn this stuff?”


“Ok… My d*ck is not small,” Lintian interjected to clear it up.

“Can I come out?” Kyuri whines a bit.

“No, you’ll attract too much attention.”

“I can transform into a different shape. How about a squirrel? A bird might be better I like to fly.”

“If you can then fine,” Lintian said finding no problem with it.

In but a second the beast box began to glow and a bird flew out. It was a sparrow.

“Would this do?”

“Yeah. Hey Rashu if Kyuri turns into a bird it won’t affect his future will it?”

“No, he has the phoenix bloodline so he will be fine. But human transformations and any complex demonic beast transformation will. Anything with DNA passing 20 chromosomes will. A bird is fine.”

“Ok, lets get something to eat then,” Lintian said feeling a little bit hungry.

As they walk around Lintian saw a restaurant called Heavenly Taste. Since it sounds tasty it must be somewhat decent Lintian thought. Furthermore it looks busy too.

Lintian walks inside and saw that there are two floors. The place was bustling with customers. A beautiful hostess came over to greet Lintian.

“Sir table for one?”

“Yes,” Lintian replies and follows her upstairs. Then she gave Lintian a seat in a corner.

“Your waiter will be right with you,” she said after leaving a menu for Lintian.

Lintian glances around and saw that the restaurant was packed and when looks at the menu his jaw couldn’t help but drop like a rock dropped from the sky.

200 qi stones for a bowl of herbal soup. 315 qi stones for a wild pork dumpling a piece. 50 qi stones for a bowl of white jade rice. 500 qi stones for taurus del felle de roast.

“Hi sir what can get for you to drink?” a gentleman asks Lintian.

“Two glass of water will do for now. I am still deciding.”

“No problem take your time. I will be right back with the water.” The waiter turns around thinking f*ck another poor country bumpkin.

While Lintian was still looking over the menu in shock he heard some familiar voices.

“Victor dad said not to randomly wonder around what are we doing here?” Chelsie’s voice echoes in Lintian’s ears.

What is she doing here? Lintian wonders.

“Boss should we go say hi?”

“No lets observe for now.”

“Chelsey stop being a party pooper and just relax we’re just getting something to eat. No biggie,” Victor says.

“Sis relax if anything goes wrong we’ll protect you,” another girl’s voice came out.

“Danial you know Victor attracts trouble nonstop. Everywhere we go we get into some sort of fight.”

“Whats there to be afraid of. Danial and I are both from first rank school. There aren’t that many people that can match us in cultivation anyway,” Victor said arrogantly. “Hey Danial lets get that nice table over there.”

“You just got beat with your tail between your leg the other week.”

“Stop reminding he got lucky ok! If I went all he be in the hospital. Luckily I took the high road,” Victor defends himself while sitting down.

“Fine but can you even afford the food here?”

“Obviously I can if I come here. Sheesh if I knew you were gonna nag so much I should have left you back at the house. Why did you come anyway?”

Chelsey’s face turns a shade of red.

“Obviously its to keep you out of trouble you bubbling idiot,” Chelsey retorted.

“Sis don’t be so rude to your brother.”

“What are you calling me sis for? We’re not even related,” Chelsey fumes. She never liked this girl Danial. She was part of the reason her brother Victor keeps getting in trouble.

“Hey kid give up your seats,” a rough voice grunts at Chelsie and her group.

What the f*cking seven hell is wrong with our luck today Chelsey curse in her mind.

“Hey boss is Chelsie on her period today?” Kyuri asks.

“I don’t think so.”

Victor turns his head towards the group that just arrives before his table. “Get out of my site or I’ll sent you flying.”

“Kid my boss is in a bad mood today. If you yap that p*ssy *ss mouth of your’s off for another second we’re gonna have to rip you a new hole,” the guy beside the rough look man warns. He even sent out his cultivation to warn them.

Lintian moves his menu down a bit and saw the group. There were two overgrown gorillas. Two average size man. There was also a guy wearing a dragon scale suit right behind them. The cultivation Lintian felt from that average size man was the 6th stage of the Master realm.

Victor was unfazed by the aura and sent out his own to warn them.

Lintian felt Victor’s aura to be one stage higher than that Man’s. Lintian was not scare of those underlings but for some reason the guy in the dragon scale suit gave him an uncomfortable feeling like a sleeping tiger.

“Come on lets just move tables,” Chelsey whispers to Victor.

“Show these imbeciles whose boss,” Danial said out loudly.

Victor bangs his hand on the table and stood up. “Do you know who I am?”

“Some brat who hasn’t hit puberty?” someone answers.

“Your mom!” Victor swore. “I am Victor Goddard second heir to the head Goddard position. If you don’t leave now my father will hunt you down when he finds out about this.”

“You’re in the capitals boy not some backwater country. So what if your from a bumpkin family? In this city this is the boss’s territory. I suggest you take your own advice and get the fuck out of here.”

“You!” Victor scold in rage.


“You, you, you what? What are you gonna do about it?” the man continues as he sends another slap at Victor.

Victor was completely froze even through he had the higher cultivation he was frozen in fear.

Lintian sitting in the corner observing notices that this man was not as simple as he look. Even through the killing intent was weak it would still have require a good amount of killing. Furthermore his control was semi okay to sent it directly at Victor who has no battle experience.

“Oh your pretty cute in the back,” another underling said noticing Chelsey and Danial. As his hand flew forward to grab Chelsie it was met by another hand. This hand belongs to Lintian. Lintian’s eyes glare with a coldness that told them to f*ck off.

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